She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
