tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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