So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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