Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
