I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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