I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
