I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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