Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
