No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
