I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
