I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
