wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
