you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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