its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
