remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
