We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
