so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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