Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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