Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
