My balls are so social today.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
