Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
