I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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