You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
