I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
