No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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