Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
