she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
