i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
