She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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