TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
