Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
