how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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