Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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