Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
