The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
