Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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