I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
