so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize