i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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