I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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