Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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