So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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