is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
