is your mom at the bar?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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