i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
