can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
