listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
