Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
