everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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