I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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