If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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