woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
