she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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