I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
send nudes
from the living room?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
