I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
