he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
