Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize