Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize