it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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