im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
