she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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