awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
