Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
As shirtless as possible
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
