I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
