if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
