No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
