batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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