If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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