It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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