this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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