Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
