Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
