her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
