I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
