smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
