your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
