so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
