We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Randomize
