So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
