I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
