you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
