Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize